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[personal profile] gin_akasarahsmom
Fandom - Guiding Light, Doubt
Pairings - Otalia, Sister Aloysius/Sister James
Rating - PG
Disclaimer - I don't own nothin', no money was made... seriously.. If I could make money writing this stuff I'd be writing all the time!

A/N - this story has not been beta'd, sorry Kam there's just no time, all mistakes are my own.  If you see any glaring ones let me know I'll try to fix them. :)
Also this part is quite a bit shorter than the first one, but I think it concludes things on a hopeful note ;)

No Doubt pt 2


Natalia walked into the house she’d abandoned earlier and parked her rolling suitcase next to the foot of the stairs.  She flopped down onto the couch and was not surprised as Olivia began to pace in front of the coffee table.


“What is going on?”  Olivia ran her fingers through her hair. “Why didn’t you come to the picnic?  Why don’t you want to see me right now?”


“Who said that!?”


“Blake.  She said you didn’t want to see me right now…”  Olivia watched with surprise as Natalia rolled her eyes.


“I never told her to tell you that.”  Natalia knew the truth and could feel her stomach turn. “I never told her to tell you anything.”


“You were… you were just going to leave without so much as a word to me?!”  Olivia began to feel the slow burn of anger in her gut. “Did you leave word with Rafe?  Did you even think how you just disappearing would effect Emma?”  The thought of her daughter hurting even a fraction of what she was pushed Olivia to her limit. “What is going on??”  Natalia mumbled something that Olivia couldn’t quite catch. “What?”  Another mumble from Natalia’s direction. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that….”


Frustration pushed the volume of her voice higher. “I’M PREGNANT!”  Natalia felt the tears begin anew and spoke with a bit of venom in her voice. “Did you get it that time?  I’m pregnant.”  She waved toward the door. “I’m sure you’re ready to leave now.”


Olivia didn’t leave, couldn’t leave because she couldn’t move.  She felt as though she were rooted to the spot as she stood in the middle of what used to be their living room and simply stared at the brunette.  After several minutes she was able to push part of one word past her lips with seemingly airless lungs.  “Pr..preg…”


“Yeah…”  Natalia tried to keep her breathing steady. “So there you have it…”


“Have what?”  Stunned processing of the facts was replaced with confusion. “Have what?”


“A reason to leave me.”  Natalia shrugged. “Why would you want to deal with a baby?  How can you even stand the sight of me after what I’ve done?”


“How can I…?”  Olivia managed to move to the couch, sitting next to the morose woman and spoke matter-of-factly. “Because I love you.”  Her heart had broken when Blake had uttered those words Natalia doesn’t want to see you right now, even sitting here right next to Natalia the memory hurt.  But she really did, completely and totally love Natalia even when her heart had been shattered, each and every one of the million tiny pieces still loved Natalia.  “You think I would leave you because of this?  You think I’m that shallow?  You think I’ll stop loving you, for anything?”  Would you ever stop loving me?


“I…”  Natalia buried her face in her hands. “I don’t know… I just know I’m terrified that I’m going to have to go through this alone… again.”  She ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m so stupid…”


“Hey!”  Olivia moved closer, gently wrapping her arms around the sobbing woman. “You aren’t alone.”  She dared a kiss on top of Natalia’s head. “Not now, and not ever.”  She closed her eyes as Natalia’s arms found their way around her, and the dark head rested on her shoulder. “You have to trust me, you have to talk to me.  I love you, but you have to believe that or this, whatever this is between us, isn’t going to work.”


“I do.”  Natalia held on tighter. “I do love you, and I do trust you… I want this to work so badly.”  She let her tears go and tried to explain. “I was just so overwhelmed, and Father Ray said the Retreat might help…” 


“He wouldn’t tell me where you were, he said it would be best if I didn’t try to contact you… that I couldn’t visit at the Retreat anyway… and you had your phone off…” 


Natalia thought about what the Sister had said to her about Father Ray and wondered if there may have been a shred of truth to what she’d suggested. “I didn’t know Father Ray would try to stop you from seeing me.  I intended to call you when I got to the Retreat.” 


Olivia felt the tears rolling down her cheeks and she didn’t try to stop them. “I was so scared, I even went to the police and told Frank you were missing.”


“I’m sorry, I truly didn’t mean to scare you.”  Natalia sniffled and loosened her hold slightly as she sat up. “What did he say?”


“That he couldn’t do anything until twenty-four hours had passed.” Olivia snorted. “But that he’d ‘pass the word’ whatever that meant.”  She leaned back on the couch, pulling Natalia back with her. “Useless.”


“Not entirely.”  Natalia sighed and placed her hand on her tummy. “What am I going to do, Olivia?”


With a frustrated sound Olivia shook her head. “See, there’s that word again… I… like you’re in this alone.”  She gently traced the outline of Natalia’s face with her fingertips. “We are in this together, together do you understand?”  She smiled as Natalia nodded and closed her eyes as she moved into the soft caress.


“Okay then…” Natalia corrected her word choice. “What are we going to do?”


“Well… first we are going to confuse the hell out of Emma.”


Natalia almost laughed, and dimples did appear even though she looked confused. “What?”


“We have to tell her about us.”  Olivia watched Natalia’s head nod… “Then we have to tell her about the baby.”  The hotel owner’s eyes twinkled. “When she gets to the part in school where they discuss how babies are made, they are going to have a huge debate on their hands…”


Natalia lightly slapped Olivia’s upper arm. “You are terrible!”


With a little grin, Olivia chuckled. “It’s part of my charm.”


“You are quite charming.”  Natalia admitted.  She realized at that moment, exactly where they were, what they were doing and why.  She also realized that she had no reasonable explanation for it. “I totally don’t deserve you.”  She quickly stopped Olivia from speaking with slim fingers pressed against the woman’s mouth. “No, listen… I hurt you, badly, and I know it.”  She laid her head on the broad shoulder but continued speaking. “I have no reason to expect your forgiveness for that.  It scares me that I can hurt you that badly, and it scares me that you can forgive me for it.”


Reaching up, Olivia removed the hand from her mouth and kissed the fingers softly before speaking. “I have to forgive you.”  She looked directly into Natalia’s dark eyes. “I have to… because if those few hours when I couldn’t find you were any indication at all… I can’t live without you.”




“I’ve been thinking a lot about, the future… our future… Yours, mine, Emma’s…even Rafe’s.”  Olivia spoke slowly, wondering if Natalia would reject the idea immediately or if she would think about it. “I’m going to build another hotel… I want to go back, to San Cristobel, it would be a great place for a resort hotel… I want Emma to grow up there… and now,” she hesitantly placed her palm on over Natalia’s tummy. “…there is another little Rivera that can grow up there too.”


“Olivia… that is just…”


“Too much too soon?”  The older woman nodded. “Yeah, I get that…I’ve been thinking about it for a while though…”  She abruptly changed the subject. “So, do you have any names picked out?”


Natalia faced Olivia and smiled. “If it’s a boy… Oliver.”


“No way.”  Olivia shook her head and answered Natalia’s immediate ‘why not?’ question. “Because he’ll get beat up for his milk money every day!”  She was totally appalled. “You can’t name a child ‘Oliver’!”


“Well we’re certainly not going to name him Frank Jr.!”


Olivia swallowed hard and murmured. “We’ll at least we agree on that.”  Then a grin appeared on Olivia’s face. “Did you hear what you said?”  Natalia looked confused and Olivia rolled her eyes. “You said we… ‘we’re not going to name him’ did you mean that?”  She studied Natalia’s expression carefully. “Will I be a part of this baby’s life?”


“If he or she is very, very lucky, yes you will.”  Snuggling in at Olivia’s side, Natalia sighed about how stupid she had been.  Peaceful Retreat? Her mind scoffed.  How could you have possibly thought there would be anywhere on Earth more peaceful than right here in Olivia’s arms. “This child is going to need guidance.  I’m sure you will show him, or her, all the tricks to living on an island.”  She looked up at the face so close to hers. “I may need a few pointers myself.”


“Done and done…” Olivia let herself begin to feel excited about the prospect.  She could almost feel the pieces of her shattered heart mending themselves back into place. “You are going to love it there, it’s so beautiful.  We can find a great house there and make it a home, just like we did here.”


“Olivia.”  Natalia knew it sounded sappy, but she spoke the words anyway, suddenly knowing the sentiment was true. “Wherever you are, is home to me.”




A small knock on the door caused Sister Aloysius to look up from her desk.  She smiled as Sister James entered the room then cleared her expression quickly. 


“Mail.”  The younger woman suppressed a grin, she’d seen the quick smile, and handed the small stack to the Sister in charge. 


“What’s this?”  The principal’s head tilted as she opened the formal looking envelope and scanned the contents.


Olivia Spencer and Natalia Rivera

Would like to announce the birth of

Their little Christmas miracle

Oliver Nathaniel Spencer-Rivera

December 25, 2009


Enclosed was a picture of just about the most adorable child either of the Sisters had ever seen.  A happy child with deep dark eyes and a shock of thick black hair.  A second picture caught Aloysius’ attention. This one was of them all, standing in front of a large house, the ocean visible in the background.  Natalia, stood with her arms wrapped around a seemingly content young girl’s small shoulders. Emma, her mind supplied the name.   Emma was practically beaming at the baby Olivia cradled in the crook of one arm, the woman’s other arm circling Natalia’s waist.  There was another one.  The Sister thought, and remembered the name. Rafe… He wasn’t anywhere in the picture but then the older woman contented herself with the knowledge. Someone had to take the picture.  She handed the snapshots over to Sister James and nodded in agreement as the younger woman spoke quietly.


“What a lovely family.”


Vivid blue eyes watched as Sister James’ eyes twinkled at the children in the picture then muted with only a slight hint of regret.  Some things would just never be.  Warm arms wrapping around her from behind startled her for a moment, then she relaxed back into the embrace.  Breath filtered through her head covering, warming her ear.


“Come to my quarters tonight.”


Sister James turned in the embrace and looked deeply into darkened blue eyes. “Is that wise?”


A twitch of the lips crossed the usually stern Sister’s face.  A twitch that Sister James knew meant the woman was amused. “No.” Aloysius exhaled softly. “But it is necessary.”


Reaching up Sister James tucked a stray bit of blonde hair back under its confinement.  Her hand lingered on the exposed skin of the other woman’s cheek, and with very little pressure her fingertips guided Aly’s head down so that their lips could briefly meet. “I’ll be there.”


Sister Aloysius watched the door close and reached up to touch her lips. It’s supposed to be wrong, she thought, what we are doing, what we feel for each other, it should not have happened.  But it had happened, and Aloysius prayed every morning and evening that Natalia was correct in her belief.  God wouldn’t give us these feelings if He just intended on punishing us for them later.  God is Love and Forgiveness and when she faced Him on her Judgement Day, she had nothing to fear.  He would not punish her or Sarah or anyone else simply for loving another person who happened to be the same gender as they were. 


Sister Aloysius knew now without a doubt in her heart, He would understand. 





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